• Gifts of the Lay Hospital Visitor
• "Thou Shalt Not Fix."
• A Lay Ministry to Patients
• How to Get Top Medical Care
• POP Chart: Reflections of a POP Lay Minister
• Making a Difference
• Healing Stories
• Don't Forget the Family
• "It's God's Will"
• Healing Practices: Gratitude

Gifts of the Lay Hospital Visitor

by Steven Spidell

POP Lay Ministers are specially trained for hospital visitation. The gifts they use are valuable for anyone who serves in this ministry for his or her congregation. If you participate in such a ministry here are some ideas for your own consideration. (And, if you have these gifts and the time, we hope you will contact POP about participating in our ministry.)

1. Love of Christ for others - Sees Christ in others, for others, with others

   For the Christian, Christ is all, in all, and through all. In the words of Dietrich Bonhoeffer, "Christ is the center." Christians see everyone and everything as Jesus sees them. In other words, through the eyes of love. To push this a step further, imagine the sick person lying in the hospital as if s/he were Jesus Christ himself. As the Savior once said, "As you have done it unto the least of these my brethren, you have done it unto me." (Matthew 25) And what had the disciples done? For one, they had visited the sick.

   Those who feel called to visit the sick are those who, first of all, have the love of Christ so deeply imbedded in their hearts that they cannot help but love others even has Christ loves them. They see the Christ in others, the Christ who is for others, the Christ who is with others in their suffering.

   Such is the depth of visiting the ill that it taps directly into the deepest spiritual truths of the Christian life. At the center of that life, of course, is nothing less than the loving presence of Christ himself. Giving a ministry of "presence" in hospital visitation is a direct expression and witness to God's own presence.

2. Acceptance, not judgment

   "Judge not, that you be not judged. For the measure with which you judge is the measure by which you will be judged." Such a non-judgmental attitude is another of the essential gifts of those who seek the ministry of hospital visitation.

   Acceptance happens on at least two levels. First of all, the visitor has no opinion on the whys and wherefores something is happening to another human being. To seek the cause of illness, whether it be punishment, accident, or fate, is a judgment about which Christian visitors have no interest. The discovery of the illness' meaning is for the patient him/herself to make. Secondly, since there is no judgment or blame or criticism offered, the visitor may then accept the person in whatever state they are found. While judgment places a barrier between people, acceptance closes any gap. By accepting the patient, however they are, whatever they are feeling or thinking at the time, the visitor is able then to see life through the patient's perspective and thereby understand the patient's experience at a deeper level. When the patient feels that level of acceptance, he or she feels a real sense of peace and gratitude. This is the feeling of is being loved.

3. Presence, not get in and fix the problem

   Their own presence is one of the greatest gifts the visitor brings. And since Christian visitors are seeking to be fully present to the patient, any attempt to get in and fix any problem, whether real or perceived, is excluded in the ministry of hospital visitation. Trying to fix something distracts the visitor from being attentive to the patient and places the visitor in a position of more power than the patient. Real problems do exist. One of those has landed the person in the hospital. But it is the job of the medical staff to fix the medical problem. And where there are other concerns, the patient, if anything, should be encouraged and empowered to take care of as much as she or he is able. Where assistance is needed, the pastoral visitor does best to involve others, so that the ministry of caring presence is not turned into something else.

4. Peaceful, centered, non-anxious presence

   Being with another human being who is suffering is a difficult task. This is one of the reasons why this ministry is not something every Christian is gifted to perform. It creates a tremendous amount of stress on those who walk along with those who are in pain, afraid, desperate, angry, bereaved, empty, or lost.

   For this reason, the pastoral visitor who wills themselves to be present with such a suffering person must themselves not over-identify with the other's suffering. Some identification in terms of seeing life through the other's eyes is essential to authentic caring ministry. This type of caring is called empathy. It means that I can understand what someone is going through because I can imagine myself going through the same thing. But having understood the other person, the Christian visitor remains centered within themselves and their relationship with Christ, at peace in the surrounding love of God, and non-anxious in the interaction with the patient. Because the visitor is present in this way, the patient feels safe and confident in their freedom to be themselves, instead of having to protect the visitor.

5. Maturity, understands the realities of life, not wishful, if-only, ain't-it-awful thinking

   True spiritual development and quality pastoral care come from a willingness to live life on life's terms. To spend time in wishful thinking weakens one's acceptance of the situation and distracts one from living through a difficult time faithfully. It is also akin to the sin of pride to think so highly of one self or another to consider that such and such a thing should being happening to someone else but not to us or those we care about.

   Illness, difficult times come into almost everyone's life. The real question is almost never, "Why has this happened?" but "How am I going to respond to this?" A mature outlook on life enables one to look at life as it truly is and empowers one and others to deal with the circumstances. Thus mature pastoral visitors will not need to play make believe, or if-only, or what-if with the patient. Rather, by fearlessly accepting what is really going on, the visitor may help strengthen and encourage others to face difficult situations.

6. Self-awareness, knows one's own personality, strengths and weaknesses, take care of oneself, not dependent or needs others for too much support and approval

   The capacity to be truly loving in a Christian way and present as fully as possible to another human being is founded significantly on one's own self-awareness and knowledge of one's self. We can finally bring only ourselves into the room. The more a pastoral visitor knows about themselves, their own history, their own personality, their own strengths and weaknesses, the better that visitor will be able to listen to, be with, and be present to the patient. To the extent that we are unaware of ourselves we will be hindered in our capacity to minister and fulfill the potential of the visit.

   In a similar vein, the pastoral visitor's need for support and approval from others is important. We all need other people to care for us. Yet this life-sustaining need will get in the way of a helpful visit if, to put it simply, we need the patient more than the patient needs us. If we are overly dependent on others for our self support and self esteem, we will need to get from the patient what we should be giving her or him. This is why maturity and self-understanding are critical to the depth of the pastoral visit. The more we know about ourselves the better we will be able to attend to the patient, for we will find ourselves getting in the way less when we know ourselves more. Indeed, then the presence of Christ and the love of God will more clearly emerge into the visit.

7. Can be oneself and is willing to learn the skills of pastoral care in a hospital setting

   Visiting a patient as a Christian pastoral visitor is not a role that a person plays. The more honest, authentic, and transparent we can be, the more helpful will our visit be. When the visitor is mature and self-aware, then the visitor can be him/herself and trust the process of the visit.

   In addition, such a visitor will be the best position to acquire the skills of pastoral care to be used in the hospital. There are skills - listening, analyzing, responding, spiritual attunement and biblical knowledge - that may be learned and developed for use in the visit. The seasoned visitor is one who has mastered these skills and continues to improve upon them.

8. A learner more than a teacher

   The ill, the suffering, the dying are experiencing a depth of life that the well are not in touch with. For this reason, patient's have a great deal to teach those who visit about what matters in life, how to cope with suffering, how to live with hope. The best attitude that a pastoral visitor can take into the room is one of expectant curiosity, a willingness to listen to the patient, to learn about their experience, to see what life is like to this patient. By learning everything we can about the patient's perspective, by providing them with an attentive ear and a caring heart, we are actually ministering to them as they tell us their stories. They are the teachers, we the students.

9. Realizes the presence of God in one's own life and recognizes God's presence in others as well

   Where God's presence is, there is hope, there is love, there is healing. The greatest gift a Christian hospital visitor needs is an experience of God's true presence in her or his own life. An intimate awareness of God's love and grace is the gift we bring with us and out of which we care. Only by knowing this in our own experience will we be able to recognize God's presence in the life of another when we see. No one can give God's grace to another. That is God's work. What the visitor may do, is to witness to the loving presence of God. How that presence becomes known is a mystery of the Spirit. Yet visiting in Christ's name, we may trust that God's love will make itself known.

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"Thou Shalt Not Fix."

by Steven Spidell

I am a born helper. I really want to make a difference in other people's lives. I want to help them over their difficulties. But my helping style is to try to fix the "problem" or to try to make someone feel better. It is as though my mind is thinking, "If you are telling me about a problem, then you must be wanting my advise on how to deal with it." Learning how to be truly helpful is, therefore, something that I constantly work at. It does not come easily for me.

I read a paragraph recently that I found especially powerful in reminding me of the value of "not helping." Parker Palmer wrote,

"Thou shalt not fix, save, advise, or set each other straight." Ironically, community falls apart not only when we ignore each other but when we "help" each other. When someone shares a problem, and someone else says exactly what to do about it, neither the person with the problem nor anyone else is willing to be vulnerable again. What the soul wants is not to be fixed or saved but received. Our deepest need is to be seen and heard and held, as we are, without being evaded or invaded. How should we respond to each other if not with fixes and saves? By asking honest, open questions not to satisfy our own curiosity but...to "hear each other into speech," deeper and deeper speech, so that the speaker might better understand what his or her inner teacher is trying to say.

An honest question is one I ask without knowing the right answer. An open question does not back the other person toward the answer I want to hear....*

This is not new to me. I've heard it before. But suddenly it dawned on me in a fresh way: How do I feel when I am sharing a concern and the person I am trusting with this starts telling me how I should feel or how I should handle the situation? To be honest, the conversation is basically over exactly at that point (even though words might still be spoken between us). I realized that if I have such a strong reaction when someone tries to tell me what to do or how to feel, why shouldn't a patient (or a friend, or a family member) react just the say way if I do the same to them? Remembering how I would feel if the situation were reversed could help me to listen more deeply rather than jumping in to "save the day" or try to make everything better.

Now this doesn't mean I am "cured" of being a "helper." It's not that easy. But I am renewed in my dedication to finding other ways to help than by fixing.

*"Contemplative by Catastrophe," Parker Palmer. Spirituality and Health. Spring, 2002. p. 51

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A Lay Ministry to Patients

by Steven Spidell

It is a rainy Thursday afternoon. Mrs. Lister has spent the morning undergoing a series of tests. Now, alone in her darkened hospital room, she listens to the rolling thunder from the storm outside.

After a soft knock on the door, Carol, a lay minister with Presbyterian Outreach to Patients, asks if this is a good time for a visit. Mrs. Lister invites the stranger in.

For the next ten minutes, Mrs. Lister speaks of her illness, of her fears of what the tests will confirm, whether her children who live so far away will be inconvenienced, if God is really near.

Carol too has experienced the fear of the unknown, the dread of isolation, the need for confidence. And she knows that listening with interest and compassion is needed more than offering suggestions or advice. Carol's presence is the gift Mrs. Lister receives.

When she is alone once again, Mrs. Lister feels calm and confident even though nothing on the surface has changed. The anxiety and tension have melted away. She senses a quiet courage being renewed within her spirit. She feels that she can face what lies ahead because now she realizes that she is not alone.

Carol continues to visit Mrs. Lister throughout her hospital stay and when palliative care is chosen. She has begun to play a unique role in Mrs. Lister's life. While friends and family are loving and involved all along, each of them has his or her needs and loses to deal with. Carol, however, is free to visit with no agenda or needs of her own. Mrs. Lister discovers that she can be more honest and unguarded with Carol.

Over the weeks, Carol's listening, interest, and compassion evoke Mrs. Lister's own story. The triumphs and the reversals, the loses and the gains all seem now to be woven into a beautiful tapestry that is the life of Joanna Lister. They share a community, a connection of faith, that witnesses to the One who transcends space and time, whose story encompasses and redeems all of life. A hope beyond cure emerges.

As Mrs. Lister's death approaches, even her dying is transformed into an act of grace to be received with much gratitude as grief.

Lay ministries to patients, such as Presbyterian Outreach to Patients, provide the opportunity for these experiences. Qualified hospital visitors are persons who have the gift of compassionate listening, a heart for the sick, and a faith that shines in the darkest of nights. Through their ministries the ill are listened to, comforted, and healed. The very presence of Christ is experienced in the attentive and caring presence of the trained lay minister. As stories are told and heard, lives connect and healing occurs. The power of love transforms each meeting and brings forth joy and gratitude and hope.

Used by Permission. APCE Advocate

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How to Get Top Medical Care

"It's an open secret in medicine that doctors receive better medical care than the average patient," writes Tara Parker-Pope of The Wall Street Journal. Doctors achieve this because "[t]hey take time to find the best doctors, they ask the right questions, and they know the secrets of the health care system."

Here is a summary of what Parker-Pope learned that doctors do to get the best care.

• Look at the frames on the doctor's office wall for where the doctor went to school, the state license, and board certification. Ask where they trained for their specialty and who they trained with.
• Ask your doctor at which hospital s/he has privileges. Most doctors prefer to be treated at medical school teaching hospitals. "It requires more time, more expertise and professional recommendations to win privileges at a teaching hospital," according to Parker-Pope.
• Choose the hospital. Remember that you may be treated by other doctors as well as your primary physician, like anesthesiologists and radiologists. The choice of the right hospital helps to insure the quality of these "invisible doctors" as well.
• Ask you doctor how many times s/he has performed the procedure recommended for you. The more the better.
• Pay attention to small details. Does the doctor touch you, performing an exam every time you visit? Does the doctor talk to you during the exam, explaining what he or she hears or sees or what your blood pressure reading is? Does the doctor listen or interrupt your answers?"
• Ask for your medical records. They belong to you. Also ask for notes and correspondence between your primary physician and specialists.
• Come ready to ask questions for information and about specific concerns. Write the questions out ahead of time. In the case of serious health problems, bring someone with you to help remember the answers.
• Schedule appointments as early in the day as possible.
• Don't schedule elective surgery in July or August. This is when "inexperienced medical students begin their residencies and hospitals are notoriously chaotic."
• Check out who takes call for your doctor when s/he is off.
• Check out the doctor to whom you are referred. "Doctors are sometimes obligated to refer patients to someone in their own medical or insurance group. But when pressed, most doctors will tell you to whom they would entrust the care of their own family."

A little extra time and effort spent on these issues will not only help you get better medical care, it will also prepare you to be a better patient.

[Source: "Do what doctors do to get top care." Tara Parker-Pope of The Wall Street Journal. Published in The Houston Chronicle, Sunday, February 8, 2004. p. 8A.]

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POP Chart
Reflections of a POP Lay Minister

by Dot Uthlaut (Methodist Hospital)
Lay Minister of the Year 2000

When I was introduced as POP volunteer of the year, I clearly remember being described as "the quiet one" in our ministry. I have always felt that my words were not the most important part of my visit with a patient. To me, it's the quiet hug, a tender touch, and a prayer for healing that brings comfort along with giving the patients an opportunity to put into words what is on their minds. Sometimes it may be easier for a patient to express fears and worries to a stranger than to a family member. Our being there is what most patients need. To know that we care. Just recently the wife of a heart transplant candidate said to me as I was leaving the room, "Thank you for caring."

Being a POP minister has enriched my life without measure. I leave the hospital every week bubbling over with blessings, and I remember Jesus' words in Matthew 25:36, "I was sick and you visited me.

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Making a Difference

"Margot"

When a friend of hers returned from treatment at M. D. Anderson Cancer Center, Margot was surprised to hear that there were not many Christian or inspirational books available.

But Margot did something more than just shake her head and think that was a shame. She contacted Presbyterian Outreach to Patients and asked us to look into this. Sure enough, Margot's friend was right. There were novels, medical books, self-help, even heart-healthy cookbooks, but very little in the way of spiritually-oriented material.

As POP looked into this to find out what could be done, Margot kept writing. Then she sent some money to help things along. Then she sent some more money.

Between Margot's contributions and monies POP added, over thirty volumes of religious and spiritual interest and information were given to the Houston Public Library at M. D. Anderson, The Learning Center, and the Rotary House Library.

Thanks, Margot, for seeing a need and acting to do something about it.

"Corinne"

When faced with a life-threatening illness, people have a wide variety of spiritual practices to draw upon - prayer, meditation, worship, Bible study, spiritual direction, anointing - to name a few. Other resources might include education and self-help books, Reiki, relaxation techniques, aromatherapy, Healing Touch, and dozens of other options. The list is long indeed.

Corinne has breast cancer. A 41-year-old wife and mother of three children aged 11, 9, and 5, she is a patient at M. D. Anderson undergoing a bone marrow transplant to treat the cancer. The more traditional treatments have not worked. Corinne has employed many practices to help her through.

But she also does something else every day that is not for herself: she prays for others, lots of them.

In the early months of chemotherapy Corinne received so much support that she became concerned about always being the center of attention. "Everything seemed to be revolving around me. Sometimes when I would pray, I would become too self-absorbed." So she began praying for others and even inviting people to send her their prayer concerns.

The opportunities to pray for others just kept growing. "I think people trust me with their problems because they know about my own struggles. They can be honest with me." Her friends will tell you also that Corinne has a welcoming and accepting style that invites others to share their concerns with her.

"I pray for specific people for specific concerns. But I've also learned not to have a preconceived notion about how God will respond. God does provide what we need. We just need the opportunity to see God working. I delight in hearing back how God is blessing the lives of others." The journal where she records her prayer requests is now up to Volume 3.

Corinne would be the first to tell you that she has been very blessed in her journey. What she might not say is how much a blessing she has been to others. But she has.

"Bill"

His name was Bill, he explained, from Brenham. He was reaching out to Presbyterian Outreach to Patients and other Presbyterians because of our connectional understanding of the church, he said. Bill was involved in an effort spearheaded by a longtime friend to aid a Russian who needed medical care.

As this incredible story unfolded, it seems that Vladimir, who lives in Kazakhstan, is a former Olympic-class athlete who lost a leg in a tragic accident over 30 years ago. He had gone on to become a painter of renown in Europe and Asia. He was now in need of a new prosthesis and a hip replacement for his other leg.

A number of resources had had to be put into place to make this happen. The effort to help Vladimir had itself become a world-class ministry.

Monies had to be collected. Two physicians at a medical center hospital, the hospital itself, a rehabilitation center, and a prosthetics company had all made their services available. One local congregation had provided an apartment for Vladimir and his wife. The local Russian community in Houston had also responded to provide personal and social support for these "neighbors" who don't speak English. An exhibition of Vladimir's art had even been planned following his recovery.

All of this happened because a need was seen and some caring people believed they could do something about it. And, sure enough, they did!

Bill believed in a connectional system in which we work together to help those in need. Bill himself was one of those connections that helped make all of this happen.

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Healing Stories

"Rev. Joe"

Sometimes huge blessings come through small "gifts." Rev. Joe, who now serves as a Chaplaincy volunteer, shared this story.

I was the victim of several fire ant bites on my legs a few years ago while doing some yard work. All but one of the bites cleared up by applying rubbing alcohol. One, however, refused to heal.

A doctor at a local clinic recommended a visit to my primary physician. He, in turn, felt it would be wise to consult a plastic surgeon who prescribed a special medication that he thought would lead to healing. After a period of time, no change resulted, and the pain was unbearable with each treatment. The wound had grown to the size of a fingernail and went as deep as the bone in my leg. I was then referred to a cardiologist out of one doctor's concern about not enough blood supply in my lower leg to promote healing.

My daughter, who works in surgery, asked Dr. George Noon to take a look at me. I was almost too embarrassed for a physician of such renown even to look at an ant bite. With one brief glance he said, "I'm not worried about that. It will heal. Let's take a look and see what else you may have wrong." He began by feeling along each leg. Before he was finished he had discovered five, that's FIVE, aneurysms. The largest one, in my abdomen, was the width of four fingers. All were removed successfully.

To put it simply, Dr. Noon saved my life. If he had not made the amazing diagnosis and performed the surgeries, I would have had a ruptured aneurysm and probably died.

…And thanks to that pesky ant who started the whole thing.

"Judy"

They call it "crashing." It means that your body's systems are failing. Your heart rate increases. Your blood pressure almost vanishes. Your kidneys shut down. If the situation does not change, and change quickly, you die.

This was what was happening to Judy. She had received more chemotherapy than her body could stand. She "crashed." Doctors and nurses started coming in and out of her room at a rapid clip. You know you're in trouble when you see doctors in your room in the middle of the night.

Having cancer had been frightening enough for Judy. Now the side-effects of her treatment were also threatening her life. Thus far, she had been able to control her fear and anxiety. She was worried, of course but she had been doing pretty well until that awful night. One nurse said to her, "If we can't get you stabilized and your kidneys working in the next fifteen minutes, we're going to change your residence." Judy wondered if that meant going to ICU, or somewhere else on a more permanent, not to say, eternal, basis. She wondered if this was the end. She worried that her battle with cancer was over, and she had lost.

As she listened to the beeping of the machines, watched the staff coming and going, Judy realized how powerless she truly was. It was in God's hands. That awareness struck in a way it never had before. "I'd always been told that I should let go and let God. I remember thinking, that's what I need to do right now. To practice what I've always been told. And that's what I decided to do. I was in God's hands. However it went, it would be OK." At that critical moment, a profound sense of peace came over Judy as she trusted herself into God's care.

Sure enough, she did weather the crisis that night. In just a little while she was stable once again. Judy never did have to go to ICU. But more than getting through that night alive and being able to go on with her cancer treatments, Judy was not the same person. She had been transformed by intentionally entrusting her life to the God who is there. Judy had always been a very religious person. That night her faith reached a new height as she claimed in a new way the belief we affirm, "In life and in death, we belong to God."

"Dorothy"

People respond in different ways to the stress of serious illness. Dorothy was recovering from extensive abdominal surgery. This was her second bout with cancer only six years ago. She also had had heart valve surgery.

But, ask her about how hard all of this has been on her, and this is what she'll tell you.

I don't see these things as hardships. If I start looking at situations as difficult or frightening, I might lose my joy. And I don't want to do anything that would cause me to lose the joy of God's love. I have something to look forward to every day. I think that is what has made the difference for me. I could have died several times - rheumatic fever when I was a child, cancer, heart trouble. But when you know that joy, then there is nothing that can really get the better of you. I'm 76, and I believe that God must still have a purpose for me. Everywhere I go I try to share the joy that is in my heart.

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Don't Forget the Family

When a person gets ill, he or she becomes the center of a lot of attention. Many people, from doctors to co-workers to church members, are there to offer care and support.

What often gets neglected, or just plain forgotten - except for the occasional and much appreciated tuna noodle casserole - is the person's family. This is unfortunate. For when an illness or other life emergency strikes, the family itself suffers, not just the individuals involved.

For most people, the family is the central focus of life. It is the primary source for love, for guidance, and for the practical necessities of living. Just because a family might not be wonderful doesn't mean it is not still the most powerful force in a person's life. In many ways then, it is not just a person who becomes sick, it is a family that is ill.

Being able to understand the family as a system, as its own reality - not just a collection of individuals - is central to providing quality care when serious illness hits. Any kind of crisis shakes the family's roles and rules and expectations. Families themselves go through a process of adjustment just as much, if not more, than patients do.

Understanding this adjustment process is a class that POP Executive Director Steven Spidell has developed to assist congregational caregivers and lay ministers in providing balanced care and attention to those undergoing stressful situations. To talk with Dr. Spidell about this topic for training, please call his voice mail at 281-294-9950 or email him at popministry.org

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“It’s God’s Will.”

by Steven Spidell

It is very natural for persons of faith to struggle with how God is involved when a life-threatening illness strikes. We wonder if God caused the illness; or perhaps we fear it was something we have done to merit some chastisement for our sins. Maybe God turned a blind eye to what was happening and chose not to stop our disease or to end our suffering. Perhaps our faith is not strong enough or good enough. So many questions.

I am coming to believe that thinking about God, illness, and faith in terms of cause and effect, problem and solution, is not very useful. Many of us have gone round and round from that perspective only to end up with the same questions with which we began. I believe that a more informative and formative approach seeks to be aware that we are in an active, unfolding relationship to God throughout the course of our lives. It may well be that God’s will is not so much a simple cause and effect dynamic but an active mutual relationship of love and possibility. Another way of putting this is to affirm that God is always involved in our lives to bring forth goodness in whatever happens to us. God’s will is not to pre-script our lives but to be with us and for us with healing love. That is surely one of the messages of the Incarnation. “‘…and they shall name him Emmanuel,’ which means, ‘God is with us.’” (Matthew 1:23)

Perhaps the following ideas will be of help in developing a perspective from which to discern what God’s will for us might be. When we are feeling overwhelmed by illness, or by any stressful circumstance, use these perspectives to reflect upon in your journey to discover how God is with you.

1. God is present in all that has gone on my life. God is present now. God will always be present. I am not alone.
2. God intends for whatever happens to be integrated into my life as a whole.
3. There is meaning and purpose to be discerned in what is happening. In other words, what happens to me matters both to me and to God!
4. What is going on now has spiritual dimensions that need to be explored and developed for the maturing of my faith.
5. Wholeness, goodness, and love are absolutely God’s will for me in this process. In other words, God wants the best for me.
6. Whatever sorrow, pain or loss I experience, whatever healing and recovery come to me, I will know that through it all God is with me and loves me.
7. Ultimately, God’s will for me is that I have a future that is held securely in the hands of God.

Coming to know God in deeper ways is surely God’s will for us at every place along our journey.

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HEALING PRACTICES: Gratitude

by Steven Spidell

It might seem rather surprising to think about being grateful when one is sick. Feeling ill, in pain, or worried about
the future tends to focus our attention on what concerns us. After all, what’s there to be grateful for when you’re
sick?

The spiritual reality is that we do indeed always have something or someone to be grateful for. The key to experiencing
the benefits of gratitude is to remember to be thankful! Make the practice of gratitude part of the way you live
your life.
Two practices that have been suggested to help us develop the practice of gratitude.
1. Keep a “gratitude journal.” Every day write down five things for which you are grateful.
2. Take a gratitude break. When feeling stressed, take 10 seconds, catch your breath (relax and breathe!), and
think of something for which you are grateful no matter what else is happening. Allow yourself to feel the gratitude
in your heart.
The Apostle Paul wrote, “In all things, give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (I Thess. 5:18)
It is not that we should be grateful when something “bad” happens. God’s will is for us to discover in every aspect of
life the loving presence of the God who is there with us and for us. This is the gift of the healing practice of gratitude.
Dr. Spidell worked on a chart of other complementary spiritual practices that have health benefits. You can find this resource by going to
www.professionalchaplains.org > Professional Resources> Best Practices> Complementary Practices.

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Presbyterian Outreach to Patients
1110 Lovett Boulevard
Houston, Texas 77006

(281) 294-9950
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stevespidell@popministry.org